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Millennials are cutting out this popular wedding element

Posted: 2017-09-11 12:47

Our blanket rule in my social circle is dating for more than one year = invite. Regardless of your living together status. There has been no one get engaged in that short of a period, so that would add some complexity if this happened in your circle. Sometimes it excludes people that become important eventually, but greatly decreases the rando numbers. I had a smaller ceremony/reception and an all out after party where anyone was invited. Made some people happy, and others unhappy. You can 8767 t please everyone but a blanket rule helps sooth feelings anyway.

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Then the best man spoke. His speech is a memory that will live on, as his “funny anecdote” was an amazing story about Benjamin trying to “reinvent himself” in college freshman year. The two of them went to both high school and university together, and when it came to his attention that Ben had been trying to drop his diminutive nickname and go by something more “manly,” the best man just about died. Naturally, Ben’s attempts were thwarted after that, and he was to remain nicknamed for life. Our guests exploded with (not unkind) laughter upon this reveal and to Ben’s credit, he took it all very graciously.

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I was in a LDR for about a year with my partner. About eight months in, we got engaged. By the time we were at our 66th month together, I relocated and started a new job to be closer to him. First, I moved into his apartment, but within a month, we were in our first house purchased together. All this to say that everything has been going very fast, but it was okay because I wanted all of this and I chose to go ahead with all of this.

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In longer, they might really want them. Particularly if you only have a few single friends, giving them a chance to bring a buddy (date or not), will increase the odds of them attending. (Social anxiety is a bitch, y 8767 all.) If for whatever reason you decide not to offer plus ones, make sure that you take good care of the single folks. Seat them together, introduce them at any welcome parties you might have. Tell each of them who they should look out for, and what they should talk to them about. (And pray for hook-ups that end in storybook romances. What? Just me?)

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The worst thing we did I 8767 m still mortified about and I still can 8767 t believe was real. We invited a family friend of my husband 8767 s family and tried to find the full name of his partner online, through his FB contacts. We found two possibilities Katie A. or Catie B, both without profile pictures that showed their face (for real). We asked my father-in-law which name was correct since he was closest to them and I 8767 m guessing you see where this is going.

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Sooooo..I had a small, family-only beach destination wedding. We decided to use it as an opportunity to make a gift of family photos for everyone who came, so we did ask our family members to dress in similar neutrals (which isn 8767 t out of the ordinary for professional beach portraits.) This was a 8775 know your people 8776 kind of thing, but the photos turned out amazing and everyone was really excited to get them as Christmas gifts. (And it was a great preventative measure against the Speedo my Grandpa and cousins kept threatening to wear.) Just as an example of when it might be ok to pick out your guests clothes!

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Sometimes I agree and wish that an invite for me didn 8767 t have to include an invite for my husband now, because I feel like that makes budget conscious friends where I am on a maybe list less likely to invite me because I cost twice as much as a single friend. I would totally be ok with just being invited to something and not my husband (especially for friends who have met him like once. they don 8767 t really care all that much about him. He doesn 8767 t care all that much about them.) if they told me it was a cost thing. I also feel bad for my cousins who will get married later because the family size will like DOUBLE compared to what it was for me. But I guess it is just a wish and not something that can actually be done (and I mean, I guess I 8767 m done with wedding invitations now so it isn 8767 t a choice I have to make anymore). So I get that wish.

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The main upside of the 8775 engaged or married only 8776 approach is that it negates so many of the gray areas.
I like the idea of including all serious partners, but short of a ring, it gets murky defining who is and isn 8767 t a 8775 serious partner 8776 . Is the boyfriend of three months a serious partner? Is the boyfriend of six months a serious partner? And if I invite the boyfriend of six months, how is the friend with the three month boyfriend going to feel if her date doesn 8767 t make the cut.
Honestly, I 8767 m really struggling with this right now. Budget wise, giving everyone a plus one would mean inviting far fewer of the people I love and care about, but I don 8767 t know how to define the ambiguous 8775 significant other 8776 in a way that isn 8767 t going to leave someone hurt.

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Cause if I 8767 m invited, I like to at least imagine it 8767 s for my sparkling personality, not for my sparkly dress. ) Sure, it can be for both, but in the spectrum of weddings, where celebration is on one end and show is on the other (and where most weddings are somewhere in between) stage-managing guest outfits feels more like I 8767 m being asked to be part of a performance. I 8767 m not saying it 8767 s wrong, but I also don 8767 t think it 8767 s super out-of-left-field to feel this way.

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Whenever taking a lengthy flight, there are a couple of issues that ought to in no way be forgotten. To combat a noisy infant or boisterous snorer, earplugs are a tiny life-saver. To combat the cold, a pair of socks and a sweatshirt that doubles as a pillow in a cinch are worthy investments in your carry-on. Lastly, for a nice pick-me-up after a extended flight, a little travel-size toothbrush and tube of toothpaste can be life-renewing!

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If I wore an evening gown to what turned out to be a line dancing-themed wedding in a barn where everyone else was wearing jeans, I would feel ridiculous. Similarly, if I were the only person NOT in an evening gown, I would be embarassed. Stating the dress code prevents that. (It 8767 s not a command people will still wear what they wear, but it does help guests know what the norm is going to be.)

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Not quite the same, but I felt really badly that I didn 8767 t give a dear friend a plus one, when I later learned that he 8767 d been dating someone for about 6 months at that point. Our guest list didn 8767 t have much wiggle room, but I wished I 8767 d reached out to my few single friends to make sure I wasn 8767 t missing anyone. But at the time I was so panicked about the guest list, that I almost didn 8767 t want to know, as not to feel obligated to invite extra people. I still feel badly about it, but live and learn, I guess.

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My mom is a pianist and has played for many weddings. My dad didn 8767 t want to go to every single one so my mom took me every now and then. It was of course discussed with the bridal couple if they were ok with me attending instead of my dad. I don 8767 t recall any of them saying no. Dad got an afternoon at home, I got cake and visions of white frothy leg of mutton gowns and veils. Win win much? )

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I had something similar happen when my fiance 8767 s cousin got married a few years ago. At the time we had been dating for a year and a half and I knew the cousin fairly well. He verbally invited me to the wedding, but when the invitation showed up, my name wasn 8767 t on it. His reasoning: his boss 8767 s nephew 8767 s couldn 8767 t bring dates, therefore I was not invited. I shook it off because what else can you do, but I still thought it was incredibly rude.

7.   Communication Station   Everyone knows that communication is one of the most important parts of marriage.  So why not get those newlyweds off to a good start with their own Communication Station?  
8.   65 Dates for $75   Money is often tight during those beginning newlywed days, so help the new couple out with this fun date night jar.  Can you believe that for only $75 you can give them 65 fun dates?! 
9.   The Ultimate Date Night Book   We can 8767 t think of a better way to start off a marriage than with a commitment to regularly 8775 date 8776 each other!  And this book does all of the work and planning for you!  
5.   Year of Dates Binder   Give the bride and groom the BEST first year of marriage ever with this awesome Year of Dates Binder.  Inside they 8767 ll find a fun and creative date already planned out for every month of the year!

68.   Wedding Advent Calendar The last few days before the wedding can be super stressful for a bride.  Help her reclaim a little of the fun, excitement, and romance with this darling, DIY wedding advent calendar.
69.   Anniversary Time Capsule   This DIY anniversary time capsule is another great gift that starts a fun tradition AND doubles as a meaningful keepsake.  Each year on their anniversary, the couple can fill out the included time capsule letter!
75.   Wedding Time Capsule Gift Set   This 75-piece gift set includes everything the bride and groom need to capture and preserve the memories of their wedding day, honeymoon, and first year together.   The idea is to seal the time capsule on their first anniversary with plans to open it up years later- perhaps on another special anniversary.  

UM OH LORD GOOD LUCK. I mean, the suggestions are great. But also, good luck. Because to some extent people will just do what they like, which is fun. Getting back invites where people replied with random folks they decided they wanted to bring was a particular highlight of our wedding planning. Particularly because we ended up paying for those folks, and then they DIDN 8767 T EVEN SHOW UP. Oh, humans.

I have a friend who didn 8767 t invite any significant others she wasn 8767 t also friends with, including spouses, for people who lived in the same city as the wedding. Cost was a big issue for her and I was thrilled she could afford to invite friends at all. I was perfectly fine leaving my husband at home, because she was my friend, not his, and I had plenty of friends also attending the wedding. Situations vary and I think it 8767 s harsh to be angry at friends for not inviting significant others no matter their reason.

In the envelope along with our invites, we included a business card-sized insert with a statement of 8775 Please RSVP by at 8775 . The business card also included the address for the ceremony/reception. The rationale was that business cards were cheaper to print than full-sized RSVP cards, and we figured it would be easy for guests to store them in their wallets for the day of in case they forgot the address!

Oh, man, I totally think SOs sometimes have to suck it up and listen to old times stories at events like that! I know when I go to my husband 8767 s high school reunions, for instance, that what my stories and 8775 what-I 8767 ve-been-up-to 8776 will have less draw by nature of the event and that part of the deal is reminiscing about things I wasn 8767 t a part of. I think old friends meeting up at weddings is similar. Not that people should totally ignore an SO or something, but recalling memories together is an important part of the human experience and couples need to be able to navigate that, even if one part of the couple may feel briefly or not-so-briefly left out. There are worse things!

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