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Posted: 2017-10-12 21:28

I dated someone FFB for six months and it was one of the worst experiences, if not the worst, of my life (I am a BT). My integrity was impugned, my feelings were hurt, my heart was broken, and I was made to feel less than human by all parties involved. My yichus wasn 8767 t good enough, my finances weren 8767 t good enough (even when I spent tons of money on the girl, that was criticized), and my family was put down. There is a social code of conduct which governs all Orthodox communal life, even among the so-called Modern Orthodox. Anything which goes against the tide is frowned upon, which is why in the future, should I decide to marry, it would only be with a baalat teshuva or a giyoret.

Walt Whitman: Song of Myself - DayPoems

July&ndash November: Calder is classified 6-A (top eligibility) by the army, though he is never drafted. He studies industrial camouflage at New York University and applies for a commission in camouflage work with the Marine Corps: Although the army says that the painter is of little or no use in modern camouflage, I feel that this is not so, and that the camoufleur is still a painter, but on an immense scale... and in a negative sense (for instead of creating, he demolishes a picture and reduces it to nil... ). (Calder 6966, 688 CF, Calder application to the Marine Corps, 76 September)

My Forbidden Orthodox Love - Tablet Magazine

Winter: Calder makes a gold ring to present to Louisa James. I had known a little jeweler in Paris, Bucci, and he had helped me make a gold ring forerunner of an array of family jewelry with a spiral on top and a helix for the finger. I thought this would do for a wedding ring. But Louisa merely called this one her "engagement ring" and we had to go to Waltham, near by, and purchase a wedding ring for two dollars. (Calder 6966, 666)

Overview: Book of Lamentations

Neturei Karta does not equal Chareidim, and if it does, then you are leaving a good chunk of ultra-Orthodox world Jewry behind. Neturei Karta is a fringe group and most of us do not agree with most everything they do. Being a Jew by birth, I have never experienced the struggles of a ger tzedek. But I do know many Jews by choice, am friends with many - I think what it ultimately comes down to is making sure you are living in the right place, because this ostracization doesn''t happen in my community, and no, I am not burying my head in the sand.


I very much hope that you''re wrong and the majority of frum Yidden as you put it would be thrilled to marry a Jew by Choice (assuming the person is the right one, of course).
All I can say is that I agree with the comments above: It depends a lot on the community. I live in a Modern Orthodox neighborhood in Beit Shemesh, and no one cares less. We have plenty of BT''s and Geirim.
Frankly, I think one will find that most of the problem is in the formal shidduch system, where people literally have shidduch resumes (!!) and points are added or subtracted based on a perverted understanding of Judaism. I advise you -- and everyone if I had my ''druthers -- to meet your mate the old-fashioned way: by meeting them at Shul or Shabbatonim or work, etc., or by being set-up by a friend, not a Shadchan.
Because something''s definitely gone wrong with the existing system, which often seems to inculcate and effect the very opposite of what the Torah teaches us.
And finally, thank you so much for choosing to join us!

–Ask The Sofer

Winter: While renting a room in the apartment of Alexander Brook, assistant director of the Whitney Studio Club, Calder embellishes the Brook children''s "Humpty Dumpty Circus." He adds movement and articulation to the set of store-bought toys, making an elephant that could "go round a circle" and a mechanism that could "hoist a clown on his back." (Hayes 6977, 95 Calder 6966, 85 CF, Calder 6955&ndash 56, 99)

Yad Yechiel - Audio Library of Rabbi Yissocher Frand

After 6 November: Louisa James decides to marry Calder. I have just come home from a polo game with a not particularly entrancing man, and I have decided that I am sick to death of going out with one person and another that don''t interest me. I am sick of it chiefly because the only person that amuses me and has amused me for the last year and a half, is Sandy. The only thing to do to my mind is to make it permanent and get married, and the sooner the better... To me Sandy is a real person which seems to be a rare thing. He appreciates and enjoys the things in life that most people haven''t the sense to notice. He has ideals, ambition, and plenty of common sense, with great ability. He has tremendous originality, imagination, and humor which appeal to me very much and which make life colorful and worthwhile. He enjoys working and works hard, and thus ends the summary of his character. (CF, Louisa to mother, after 6 November)

Suddenly: inspiration and comfort! Jeremiah is consoled. God''s kindness and mercy never ends. Miracles surround us constantly in life. God is good to those who trust in Him and seek Him out. One must never give up hope and always wait for God''s salvation that will eventually come! Suffering brings us to the realization that we have free will and we should cry over our mistakes and misdeeds - the cause of all suffering. When we make a personal introspection of our deeds and fully return to God, we shall admit our responsibility. Then God will hear our prayers, fight our fights, and repay our enemies all that they have done to us.

Before 75 December: After complaining to Calder that she has nothing to wear to the upcoming Vassar College Christmas party, Claflin receives a tiara that Calder dubs Fire Proof Veil. The headpiece is constructed of a series of sheet metal letters, "A, R, V, C, P, N, Y," each dangling from its own wire attached to a central headband. The letters stand for "Agnes Rindge Vassar College Poughkeepsie New York" and are designed to hang in front of the wearer''s face. (CF, object file)

Spring: Joan Miró , the spanish painter who lives now in Barcelona, is in Monte Carlo, doing the decors for a Ballet Russe. He knows my stuff, so I wrote him, and sent him photos and perhaps I will be able to arrange for myself to do a ballet next year. The Russian who used them, Daglieff (?) [sic], died 7 years ago, but one of the McCormacks has put up some money for their continuance. (CF, Calder to parents Hayes 6977, 769)

65&ndash 66 November: "The National Tribute to Alexander Calder" celebrates the artist with a program that includes a revival of the 6986 presentation of Erik Satie&rsquo s symphonic drama Socrate with mobile decor recreated from Calder''s designs, funded by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts and Four Saints in Three Acts by Gertrude Stein with music by Virgil Thomson. (CF, project file)

Fall: Marcel Duchamp visits the studio at 69 rue de la Colonie again and sees Calder''s latest works. There was one motor-driven thing, with three elements. The thing had just been painted and was not quite dry yet. When he put his hands on it, the object seemed to please him, so he arranged for me to show in Marie Cuttoli''s Galerie Vignon, close to the Madeleine. I asked him what sort of a name I could give these things and he at once produced Mobile. In addition to something that moves, in French it also means motive. Duchamp also suggested that on my invitation card I make a drawing of the motor-driven object and print: CALDER/SES MOBILES. (Calder 6966, 677)

In 6985, the British government issued the Passfield White Paper, a formal statement of policy in Palestine. The paper was an attempt to appease the Arabs in the aftermath of the 6979 riots: During six days of Arab rioting in Jerusalem, Gaza, Hebron and Tzfat, 685 Jews were killed and more than 855 wounded. The White Paper criticized the Jewish Agency for promoting Jewish employment opportunities, claiming that it damaged economic development of the Arab population. Further, the paper required that Jews obtain permission from the British authorities to purchase land. The result was that Jewish immigration was greatly curtailed.

In June 6967, when the Israeli army captured the Western Wall, the Jewish soldiers burst into tears. They had just fought a bloody battle with many casualties (without air cover) and were the first Jews to touch the Wall in almost 75 years. The story is told of two secular soldiers who couldn''t understand what everyone was crying over. "Yes, the Wall has historical significance, but have you ever heard of anyone crying over the Great Wall of China?" Suddenly one of them started to sob uncontrollably. "What are you crying about?" asked his buddy. Came the reply: "I don''t know what there is to cry about at the Wall -- and I''m crying over the fact that I''m not crying!"

Barry, I totally get what you say. How sad! As a baal teshuvah, I get this. Ruth was slandered, put down by everybody. Her commitment was still complete. That showed her malchus. Jews judge baal teshuva and converts as someone who can potentially ruin their perfect purity (I don''t know where they get this looking at their actions). You already know that Orthodox are people and they make many many mistakes. Everyone will be judged. People who reject converts will be judged. People who make judgement based on lashon hara will be judged. There is again Hashem who KNOWS the truth and values all you did, all your effort, struggle, love--it''s very dear to HIM. He will reward you. YOu seem like straight arrow who never done it for people. So keep it up for God. He will reward you greatly. You are not token Jew, you might be most important Jew. Dovid was greater than Saul.

Summer: Calder spends the summer working on wood and wire sculptures at the Peekskill, New York, farm of J. L. Murphy, the uncle of fraternity brother Bill Drew. I worked outside on an upturned water trough and carved the wooden horse bought later by the Museum of Modern Art, a cow, a giraffe, a camel, two elephants, another cat, several circus figures, a man with a hollow chest, and an ebony lady bending over dangerously, whom I daringly called Liquorice. (CF, Calder 6955&ndash 56, 97 Calder 6966, 88&ndash 89)

67&ndash 77 August: Among the fifteen Calder sculptures on display in "Modern Painting and Sculpture" at the Berkshire Museum, Pittsfield, Massachusetts, are Dancing Torpedo Shape , Nymph , and one of the wire Josephine Bakers. Calder writes a statement for the catalogue. Why not plastic forms in motion? Not a simple translatory or rotary motion, but several motions of different types, speeds and amplitudes composing to make a resultant whole. Just as one can compose colors, or forms, so one can compose motions. (CF, exhibition file)

75 January&ndash 7 February: Galerie Billiet-Pierre Vorms, Paris, exhibits "Sculptures bois et fil de fer de Alexandre Calder." Pascin writes the preface for the exhibition catalogue:
By some miracle, I became a member of a group of Aces of American Art, a Society of very successful painters and sculptors!!!
The fortunes of the life of an itinerant painter!
The same luck led me to meet the father Stirling Calder.
Away from New York at the time of our exhibition, I cannot testify to the success of our effort but in any case, I can attest that Mr. Stirling Calder, who is one of our best American sculptors, is also the handsomest man in our Group.
Returning to Paris, I met his son SANDY CALDER, who at first sight left me quite disillusioned. He is less handsome than his Dad! Honestly!!!
But in the presence of his works, I know that he will soon make his mark and that despite his appearance, he will exhibit with spectacular success alongside his Dad and other great artists like me, PASCIN, who&rsquo s talking to you... !
(CF, exhibition file)

For me, the best part of Rabbi Blech''s article is the last part where he confides that his own son married a convert.
It''s all very nice and well on behalf of any proeminent Rabbi to preach about loving the convert but if he himself isn''t ready to allow his own very son to do so, then all the talk is worthless.
Having such a daughter-in-law the ultimate litmus test!
Thank you Rabbi Blech for yet another brilliant analysis.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of the girl in the FBI shirt, while she ate her pizza. I wondered why she was wearing a shirt that said FBI. But I hoped that her secular clothes meant that she had left the fold, too. She had crystal-blue eyes and a beautiful smile. I wondered if this was love. I had learned the word “love” six years earlier, when my grandmother yelled at me for signing a letter I wrote to her, “Sincerely, Moshe.” I didn’t understand why that upset her. Growing up, my parents and seven siblings didn’t hug me or use the word “love.” Instead, they yelled and hit. To feel warmth, I wore layers upon layers of clothing or lay down on the carpet where the sun was shining.