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Posted: 2017-10-12 14:36

so much great advice-thankyou Mirror of Aphrodite- all the same for all age groups? I am a mature female internet dater and feel there are certain things an older dater needs to consider. I have already in my first 9 months learned the hard way. Ive now made a list of rules/boundaries based on your advice and stick to it. The info on phones/ txts really works!! You know why men contact me? I like your profile= you are different, and my best asset is my hair (no cleavage to speak of)so I make the best of it in photos and change my main profile pic every month. I always have my hair up when we meet, then I go to the restaurant rest rooms and return with it down to surprise him- one man almost fell off his chair and was beaming from ear to ear, another pulled out his phone and said may I take a pic of your hair!! I only search for compatible star signs and Im a numerologist, and have subtle methods for asking someones birthdate early on in our chats, so I have an added advantage in my screeing. If they are incompatible I dont bother continuing. THANKYOU.

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Hi, I need advice, I met this guy online, he is twelve years older than me, he pursued me quickly, so much in common,he then started flirting with sexual innuendos, I told him I was uncomfortable, we haven t met yet,we got too close too fast as nd we had a huge fight the day before we met, I refused to meet him, we both made assumptions of each other, we both agree we have an amazing connection especially mentally,he has not asked me out as gain, he had since hanged back, what ad should I do?

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Dear MOA,

Thanks so much for your prompt and compassionate reply. I will try to be more careful without being too suspicious :-) from now on especially with people I meet online. But I will definitely take a break from dating of any kind for a while - this experience has really left a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak :-(

Hope you have a nice weekend - from a grateful Discouraged-but-at-peace One


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Enitan* lives in a small village outside Lagos, Nigeria. Born in neighboring Benin, he and his family moved to Nigeria during his childhood and went looking for opportunities in the emerging economic powerhouse of Africa''s most populous nation. Instead, he found the game — Nigeria''s shadow economy of 969 scams, named for the article in the Nigerian criminal code that deals with fraud.

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Other victims fall into the risky practice of scam baiting, a kind of digital vigilantism: They attempt to turn the tables and lead scammers on with promises of future riches. Months after she discovered the scam, Amy continued talking with Dwayne, promising him another $55,555 if he would send her various documents. Her hope was that she''d be able to lure him into giving up something incriminating. She found the neighborhood in Kuala Lumpur that he said he lived in, and she prowled its streets using the Street View feature on Google Maps, looking for some landmark he might have mentioned. Sometimes, he''d still call her in the middle of the night, and she''d hear that familiar voice for a few moments.

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Impostor scams can flourish wherever the Internet exists (Eastern Europe and Russia are also hot spots), but most dating fraud originates in Nigeria and Ghana, or in countries such as Malaysia and the ., which have large communities of West African expatriates. In fast-developing parts of the world with high unemployment, a large percentage of English-speaking men, and a postcolonial legacy of political instability and corruption, playing the 969 game can be a tempting way out.

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All you guys trying to date women the gays are getting scammed too!
I was contacted on Grindr by a real hunk who wanted to meet me but said he needed me to register with a non-sex offender website and gave me this address: http:///6jyhkc
I checked out the site and it looked genuine but got suspicious when they asked for credit card details for a very small payment of $
I was very tempted but my gut feelings told me to proceed with caution so I pulled out (excuse the pun).
He seemed very upset and insisted for me to register so we could meet. I was firm and told him that if he expected me to trust him then I should be able to expect him to trust me and meet without going through all the red tape (including divulging my credit card details ).
Haven 8767 t heard from him again.

The marriage had been troubled he was abusive. His cancer took him swiftly, before she had time to process what was happening. After the funeral , a grief counselor told her to make no sudden changes in her life for at least a year, and she followed that advice. Now she was all by herself in a house secluded at the end of a long gravel driveway. In the summer, when the trees leafed out, you couldn''t even see the road or the neighbors.

The software has been built to moderate absolutely all UGC (User-Generated Content). There are a lot of software out there that don 8767 t even allow to remove profile avatars. pH7CMS definitely stops that!
It also allows you to log in into any user accounts and do what you need.
Finally, you can enable the smart 8775 Nudity Detector 8776 that automatically set all images uploaded by the users for approval (so you are sure there are no adult photos if you don 8767 t want that).

If you fallow this advice your wasting your time being on one of these sites. The thing that sticks most in my mind as being very bad advice is the point about never contact first?

You work for one of those sites don t you? Your getting paid to keep the girls single and on the site right? lol

Better idea girls. Search. Read profiles and contact guys who you find interesting. answer every guy that contacts. And send him a text. Every girl wants to be chased. But this isn t real life. You only have the one chance and you can t tell who he is if you don t talk.

Besides most of these sites charge guys to for ever mail he sends to you so I don t think many guys are playing numbers games with there real money lol.


Photo by liquene The topics you choose should not solely be there to fill in empty space. You know qualities you are hoping to find in someone else and many of your topics should be used to discover if your date has these qualities. At the same time, you can 8767 t put your date 8775 on trial 8776 so you need to mix your conversations up between discovery, simple light-hearted small-talk, and sharing about yourself.

Hi mirror,your advice is really great!I met up with this guy online and we had a nice chat..talking about ourselves then one day he suggested we exchange gave out mine first..but he didnt text or call,instead,he gave me his number as feel that he should call first cause am very intrested in him..am a student and he is afraid that if he doesnt initiate the myt end up loosing him
..which I dont want to can I do to make him stay without looking desparate?My friend says that nowadays,its ok for girls to make the first move,otherwise I stand a big chance to loose him.

One way I found to lead the conversation to these topics is to simply ask the question you want to answer. Once your date has answered the question just stop controlling the conversation that is, stop talking. Most of the time, they will ask you what you just asked them when they 8767 re done answering. Many people will see right through this (I was called out on it several times) but I never met anyone offended by the tactic. If anything, my dates seemed amused.

Hi Mirror, good it gave some food for thought-as well as helping me join a few more dots. In hindsight I think it must have been drugs as that could explain a pie-eye and the odd habit of muttering to himself (repeating a sentence he had just spoken in a normal-louder voice) elusive behaviour and difficulty to get it up in the morning (which from what a doctor friend of mine tells me is a poor health indicator for men). What a shame, he could be an absolutely stunning man!

Overall this experience strengthens my resolve to take things slowly (more so with online dating) and really gather as much info as I can before having sex with a man! I m so glad I never pursued him when he if I was dying to see him.

On the other hand, don 8767 t talk about something you 8767 re not comfortable with just because some other list says you should. Personally, I never brought up sex because I would have been uncomfortable doing so. Healthy conversation is fueled by the comfort of both you and your date so don 8767 t go and slow the conversation down because you think you need to cover certain topics. Use your head and remember that good topics for some dates should be avoided at all costs on others. Lists of suggested do 8767 s and don 8767 ts aren 8767 t bad but it is bad to adopt a universal rule for every date.
Help! Where Do I Start?! Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it? Find out how I failed at first but then had great success with online dating download my free 655+ page Online Dating Guide ebook today!

It''s an ancient con. An impostor poses as a suitor, lures the victim into a romance, then loots his or her finances. In pre-digital times, romance scammers found their prey in the back pages of magazines, where fake personal ads snared vulnerable lonely hearts. But as financial crimes go, the love con was a rare breed, too time- and labor-intensive to carry out in large numbers. It could take months or years of dedicated persuasion to pull off a single sting.

You may not have any interesting stories but that doesn 8767 t make discussing online dating a bad idea. I went so far as to share the horror stories that women shared with me on later dates. For example, even if I didn 8767 t have a good story to share I could still counter one of their horror date stories with one that a previous date had shared with me. 8775 That 8767 s nothing 8776 , I would say, 8775 one girl I met recently had been called by a guy she had just met three times before she even got home! 8776 . No one ever took offense that I was sharing others 8767 stories: the truth is, everyone, myself included, just loves to hear that they 8767 re not the only ones struggling.

Be patient when trying to learn about the person you are dating. Don 8767 t turn a fun evening into an interview. If your date resists at answering some questions, just leave them unanswered and move on to lighter conversation. The only reason to learn everything about your date right away is if you are assuming there is only going to be one date, in which case there is no point in learning anything about them at all!

And he said he was extremely tired he had to work that day which it was a Saturday today it s Tuesday I didn t hear from him..he s Capricorn 95 years old..I don t get it I m a mature 89 years old and I really like this guy..why he disappear when he was very interested in really don t understand men these days..if you can answer my question would be great!
I love..love your blog..you are amazing!!!!

Hi MOA,

I m the same anonymous that posted about Mr. flaky guy yesterday. Anyway, I have a pretty specific situation that isn t geared towards any man in particular but I m still wondering what to do as far as NC or showing interest.

I am a black woman who is mostly attracted to white men. I don t know why, I guess it s just my preference and what feels most right to me.

That being said, I ve been dating online for a few months now and I ve noticed that a lot of white men will not make the initial contact even if they re attracted to me because they assume that black women aren t interested in white men. This leads me to believe that I need to initially show interest to show them that this isn t the case. Now, I know that men with racial hang-ups or men who are genuinely just not interested in black women will weed themselves out, but how do I go about showing that I m initially interested without being the aggressor to the men who are open minded but just didn t think that they would have a chance with a woman of a different race?

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